


More Than Appreciation

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-10
Updated: 2007-03-10
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12411684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: What to do when love isn't returned? When one is simply appreciated. Appreciation isn't enough, but sometimes it has to be. HarryLuna.





	More Than Appreciation

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

_Cry_  
As much as I want to   
Weep  
I know I can’t have you  
I wipe my tears away, away 

 

“HARRY!”� She pushed past the nurses and shoved her way through the door, sprinting down the hall. She heard voices blending in the background, but didn’t care. Turn left, then left again, take a right. She was breathing heavily, choking on her sobs, as she reached the door. She fumbled with the handle, could hear the strict voices of hospital staff behind her. She had to see him, had to…

_No_. _No_ , _No_ , _No_ , _No_. She placed trembling fingers over her open mouth as her body quaked, threatening to give out. “No.”� Her voice was a hoarse whisper. She shook her head. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be real. 

She felt firm arms on her shoulders, trying to pull her away. She swatted away at the hands. Why wouldn’t they go away? She clung to the doorframe, whispering over and over again, “No, no, no, no, no.”� This had to be a dream. Some awful nightmare. Why did they want her to go away. 

A familiar voice broke the haze, “Let her stay.”� It had a cool, commanding air, and the people seemed to listen. They were going away. A new pair of arms wrapped around her, and she fell into the embrace. Soothing words of comfort were whispered as she shook. She closed her eyes, tears running down her cheeks, She could taste their saltiness as she licked her chapped lips. She swallowed hard, trying to gain some control of her senses. This couldn’t be happening. 

“Luna?”� 

Oh, no. Oh, Merlin, no. Luna squeezed her eyes closed, hoping desperately that everything was going to disappear. 

“Luna?”� 

Luna took a step back, and stood a moment, attempting to find her voice. “Ginny?”� she squeaked. 

The usually fiery redhead looked wistfully at Luna. Bags were under Ginny’s eyes and she looked at least 10 years older than when Luna had seen her just the day before. “Oh, Ginny,”� Luna whispered. 

Ginny’s voice trembled as she whispered, “He’s… he’s…”� her mouth formed the word, but no sound came out. 

Luna stood there, wanting desperately to shriek, scream, throw, break, anything. She couldn’t move though, couldn’t make a sound. All she could do was stand there, watching her tears run down Ginny’s face, feeling them run down her own. Luna tried moving her mouth; she needed to say something, anything. No words came out, though. Ginny said nothing either, watching Luna with a hopeful look, as if she could do something to help, as if she could save her. Ginny tugged at her shawl, and Luna could feel a shiver run down her own spine. Her vision blurred suddenly, and the room spun. Luna reached out, and felt nothing. She tried to speak, but no sound came out. The sight of Ginny tugging at her shawl played over and over again in Luna’s mind. And then Ginny wasn’t there anymore. It was… 

_”�You alright Luna? It’s cold out here.”�_

_Luna smiled at the offer, running a hand up and down her arm, trying to keep warm, “I’m alright. It is rather chilly, though. The government’s hatched up some mad plan to change the weather, I tell you. It’s in the next month’s Quibbler, Dad said.”�_

_“Sounds like the ministry, doesn’t it?”� Harry replied with a chuckle. Unfastening his cloak he offered it to Luna, “Here, take it. I dragged you up here to watch Ravenclaw practice, you shouldn’t be cold.”�_

_“They’re my house, Harry. Of course I’d want to watch. Keep your cloak. You’ll be cold.”�_

_Harry shoved the cloak at her, though, “You wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t asked you, too. I want to get information on them for the game, and you’re a Ravenclaw. Take the bloody cloak, Luna.”�_

_“Well if you’re going to_ swear _about it, I suppose I will.”� Luna took the cloak hesitantly, her fingers touching Harry’s for a split second. She wrapped it around herself, and smiled appreciatively. “So where were we? Oh yes, we were talking about how Ravenclaw is going to smother Gryffindor in the next Quidditch game, right?”�_

_Harry laughed, shaking his head defiantly, “In your dreams, Lovegood.”�_

__Oh, but you are, _she thought wistfully before continuing the playful banter._

\- - - 

_”�I can’t believe she decided to go out with him again,”� Harry muttered, viciously stabbing a piece of sausage._

_Luna looked up from her issue of the Quibbler, a mildly amused expression on her face, “I think they’re cute. I’m glad Ginny gave him another chance. He’s a nice boy.”�_

_Harry muttered something inaudible, but Luna was nearly certain that it was inappropriate. “How can you like him?”� Harry finally asked._

_“Why shouldn’t I? He’s perfectly nice, and it isn’t like I fancy Ginny or anything,”� Luna said quite innocently, looking back at the article she’d been reading so Harry wouldn’t see the grin on her face._

_“I do not like Ginny!”� Harry hissed, leaning forward._

_“I never said you did,”� Luna answered calmly, turning the page. She looked up for a moment to see Harry’s cheek tinged pink. She felt a dull ache in her chest as she smiled lightly, “Look who’s learned something new, today.”�_

\- - - 

_”�See you Harry!”� Luna called wistfully as Harry was about to go through the barrier. He was gone. He’d go into auror training, live happily with Ginny once she graduated, and never think of Luna again. Voldemort was dead, Sirius in the past, and everything that had once connected them gone and destroyed. And there was nothing she could do about it. It was stupid to let Cupid’s pesky little arrows get in the way of her living her life, but it was somehow something she couldn’t ignore. If he never talked to her again, though, maybe she could forget. Maybe she could…_

_She felt a pair of arms go around her, and her heart pounded as she turned around. “Harry?”� she asked in the mildest tone she could muster, “Why’re you hugging me?”�_

_“You’re my friend, Luna. I don’t care what anyone else says about you, you’re a brilliant girl, you know that? Keep in touch, alright?”�_

_Luna swallowed hard before replying, “Of course I will.”�_

_“And Luna? Thanks.”�_

_“For what?”�_

_“Everything.”� And he left. Through the barrier with one last wave._

_Maybe forgetting was going to be a little harder than anticipated._

\- - - 

_”�Harry, where are we going? I have to get back to work, you know. My lunch break isn’t that long. Harry!”� Luna cried as she was jerked around a corner._

_Harry was holding her by the wrist and dragging her through Diagon Alley. Finally they were in a dimly-lit store, and Harry let go of Luna’s wrist as he walked over to a glass table. They lined the rooms, glass tables and jewelry stands were everywhere. What was this about?_

_Checking her watch, she sighed and followed Harry over to the glass table. “There,”� he said softly, pointing to a pair of diamond and ruby earrings._

_They sparkled in the heavy light being shone on them. “They’re gorgeous, Harry,”� Luna said, her hands gliding over the case._

_“Really?”� Harry sounded rather triumphant. “Great! Hold on, I’ll be right back.”�_

_Luna ran her fingers over the case. She could feel her heart pounding. Who were these for? She bit her lip as she looked longingly at the earrings. If only…_

_A hand entered the case and took the earrings out. Luna looked up, startled, to find a man standing there, placing the earrings in a box and handing it to Harry. “Thanks,”� Harry said, slipping the box into his pocket and offering the man a handsome stack of galleons._

_“Thanks for coming, Luna. I hope Ginny likes them as much as you do.”� Harry said cheerily._

_Luna felt her voice catch in her throat. She smiled, finally managing to croak, “I’m sure she will.”�_

\- - - 

_”�I’M IN!”�_

_Luna whipped around to find Harry smashing into her, throwing his arms around her. Luna’s eyes were wide with shock, but she embraced her friend back._

_“You’re in?”� Luna asked, breaking off the hug._

_“I’m an auror! I got past training! I’m done with blasted Moody and his bloody tests! I’m an auror, Luna!”�_

_“That’s wonderful Harry,”� Luna said pleasantly, smiling broadly. “Good for you.”�_

_“Well, I’ve got to go. Gin’s attempting to cook tonight, and I’ve got to make sure our flat’s not burning down. You want to come to dinner? Ron and Hermione are going to try to make it, too. It’s not everyday that Ginny cooks, you know.”�_

_Luna eyed Harry warily, “Would anyone willingly eat Ginny’s cooking?”�_

_Harry grinned, but asked again, “Do you want to come, then?”�_

_Luna felt her heart catch, and finally managed to say, “Of course I’ll come. What time?”�_

_Luna’s heart melted at Harry’s childlike delight, “Wonderful. I’m glad. Does seven sound good? That’ll give you about an hour to get ready. That’s enough, right? Thanks, Lun.”� He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the forehead._

_Luna fell against the counter as Harry turned and walked towards the door, waving goodbye before leaving. Her heart was pounding from their momentary close proximity and she couldn’t gain control of her spinning head. Was it normal for her heart to be pounding like that?_ Oh, Merlin, Harry. What are you doing to me?

\- - - 

_”�Luna!”� Ginny sang as she entered her friend’s flat. “Where are you?”�_

_“Ginny?”� Luna called, laying the book down on her bed, and walking out into the small living room where her friend was standing. “What are you doing here?”�_

_“Do you not allow people to visit anymore? Or maybe you save that privilege for my husband who’s over here so much.”� Ginny said teasingly, grinning broadly._

_“Of course you can–h-husband?”� Luna stuttered, the sentence finally settling down in her brain. “Y-you’re married?”�_

_Ginny squeaked very uncharacteristically and held out her left hand where a simple, but pretty diamond was set on silver band with two smaller emeralds were placed on either side. “He asked me last night. You’re the second person I’ve told. I saw Hermione on the way over, you see.”�_

_“You and Harry are… engaged?”� Luna asked slowly._

_Ginny, thankfully, mistook the severe heartache for shock and grinned. “I’m engaged to Harry Potter!”� She cried, throwing her arms around Luna._

_Luna hugged back, forcing the small smile to stay on her face. “That’s great, Gin. You have my sincere best wishes.”�_

_“Thanks Lun.”� Ginny said grinning. She looked at the clock sitting on Luna’s table and bit her lip, “I’m sorry, Luna, but I’ve got to go. I promised Harry I’d take care of my brothers.”�_

_Luna raised her eyebrows, “Luck.”� She managed to smile at Ginny, “I’m happy for you Gin. You two have got to come over sometime soon, alright?”�_

_“I promise,”� Ginny said, “Bye, Luna!”�_

_“Bye,”� Luna said watching the ecstatic redhead exit the flat. Stiffly, she walked over to her fridge and yanked it open. She reached to the very back of the bottom shelf and pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey. Uncapping it, she slumped down in a chair facing the window._

_A telephone pole ran outside her flat, and she could see it from her window. She swigged down some firewhiskey, watching the black electrical lines, and the birds settled on them. They were crows; gorgeous, black crows with beady black eyes and long beaks. Two were on the portion of the line in front of her window. Sitting near each other, for no apparent reason, when one flew away. There was one crow left. Alone. By itself. Left to be swallowed up in its own darkness._

_Luna could taste something salty on her lips, could feel something wet on her cheeks, and she just kept staring at the one lonely bird. Time was at a standstill as she watched the crow from her curled up position in her chair._

_A knock at the door jerked her eyes away from the window. The sky was suddenly so much darker and there were no lights on in her flat. She looked to the door and heard another knock. Someone was fiddling with the handle now. The door was opening. Someone was standing there in the shadow. A hand moved to the light switch. Light flooded the room, flooded her vision, and showed the person at the door._

_He stood there awkwardly, as usual, a concerned furrow in his brow. He stood there in all his glory, staring at her, and Luna had no other feeling than that of pure desire. She blinked and looked down at the bottle in her hand. How had it gotten empty? That was strange._

_“Luna?”� Ah, yes. The slight girliness that had always been there, showing what a shy awkward little boy he could be. Luna had always found the femininity rather appealing and insanely cute. She never found anything incredibly sexy about a deep voice. Perhaps it was because she’d only had one main object of affection. An object who happened to have a somewhat feminine voice._

_“Are you alright?”� Oh, there was the concern. The huge heart was making an appearance. The heart she quaked for. The heart she wanted so desperately to be hers and hers alone._

_She could hear him walking towards her. He was wearing those clogs he insisted were comfortable and manly, but in all honesty were the most womanish men’s shoes she’d ever seen. They were the shoes Ginny and Luna made fun of all the time. She could tell by the sound of them on the carpet._

_His hand was on her shoulder. Those long artistic fingers resting on her bone. It made her heart pound just to have his fingers resting on her blouse. She ached for him. Just for him. She swallowed hard and refused to look up at him. At those eyes. Those gorgeous eyes that seemed to hold everything worth living for. One look into his eyes and he would know everything. She knew it._

_Exhaling a long shaky breath, she slowly reached up and placed her hand on top of his, relishing in the warmth of his skin. Her heart throbbed as his fingers curled around hers, a gesture of mere friendship. He squeezed her hand comfortingly, asking again in a whisper, “Are you okay?”�_

_“No,”� Luna finally answered shakily. There was no reply, no sound, no motion, no gestures. Simply silence._

_“No,”� Luna said a bit louder, a bit more forcefully. She stood, letting the bottle fall with a soft “thud”� onto the carpet. “I’m not.”�_

_She was looking up into his confused eyes, directly at them._ Let him know everything. What do I care, anymore? _Her heart was racing wildly in her chest, and her mind was clouded. She couldn’t think clearly. Her hands were on his shoulders. Still staring into his eyes. Those gorgeous green eyes. She was moving closer, and he still said nothing. That same unsure look in his eyes. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Why wasn’t he stopping her?_ Say something, damn you. Do something to stop me. 

_He didn’t though, and she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face now. Closer and closer. All thoughts vanished from her mind then. It was all gone. It was Harry and Luna. Slowly, ever so slowly, she placed her lips on his. Their lips grazed, held, and then she stepped back. Her head was spinning. She could still feel the warmth of his lips on hers. She could taste him. He had been_ right _there._

_Harry’s hand found his mouth and he stepped back, shaking his head. “What was_ that _?”�_

_Luna’s heart plummeted, as she knew it would. She’d expected nothing else from him. She’d hoped for nothing else. Yet it still hurt. She swallowed hard, looking up into his eyes, “Thank you. It was a thanks.”�_

_Harry said nothing, studying her intently for a moment. Luna stood still, confident. She wasn’t going to break down. How much further down could she go? He sighed, finally. “You have no reason to thank me.”�_

_“I’ll be fine, Harry. Congratulations on the engagement. You’re going to live happily ever after.”� Luna smiled._

_A smile appeared on Harry’s face as he saw Luna’s mood lighten. The kiss was a thank-you. Nothing more. He laughed a little, “I suppose that makes sense. Ginny’s the princess I rescued from the lair of a dragon. Does that make me Prince Charming?”�_

_Luna laughed softly, “Prince Charming, indeed. Get back to your bride-to-be, Prince. Live happily ever after.”�_

_Harry grinned, “Who’re you, then, Luna? In the fairy tale?”�_

_Luna raised her eyebrows, “The princess’ wicked stepsister, of course.”�_

_“Wicked?”� Harry asked, amused._

_“If only you knew, Prince,”� Luna said with a charming wink._

_Harry laughed at what he thought was a tease. Luna smiled back, full-heartedly. He was happy with Ginny. They were in love. She could forget, she could…_

_He kissed Luna lightly on the lips, “Thanks,”� he whispered._

_Luna watched as he walked out of the flat. She touched her trembling fingers to her mouth. She wiped away the tear ready to fall from the corner of her eye. “Prince Charming always was rather oblivious, wasn’t he?”� she whispered hoarsely. Wicked stepsister, indeed. If only he knew…_

Luna could still feel his warm breath on her face, could taste him on her lips. Just barely. Ginny was there again, quite suddenly. The strong hospital odor filled her senses as the present hit Luna full force once more. With a shaking sob, Luna ran the few steps forward, and wrapped her arms around Ginny. “I’m sorry,”� she whispered into her friend’s shoulder. Over and over again. Ginny’s arms wrapped around Luna, and Luna could feel the tears hit her shoulder. 

Finally finding their ways to chairs, the two women sat vigil by the bed. Both silently crying for the man they both loved. Luna’s fingers curled around Ginny’s hand, grasping it for comfort as she sat. She didn’t know how long she sat, how long she watched. At one point she heard Ginny’s breath grow shallow and looked over to find her friend asleep. Gently letting go of Ginny’s hand, Luna kneeled by the bedside. 

Trembling, she moved a lock of hair of his forehead, immediately jerking back at the coldness of his skin. Her hand found his, and she grasped it hard, trying to find some warmth. There was none. He was so cold, so, so… 

She put a hand to his cheek as tears slid down her own. She shook her head as she looked at his closed lids. They would never open again. She kept her hand in his as her other hand stroked his cold cheek. She kept shaking her head. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t. 

Her fingers moved from his cheek to his lips. They were cold. Too cold. Shaking, she leaned down. Slowly. Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes as her lips grazed his. She hoped, yearned, needed desperately to feel _something_. It wasn’t there. All she felt was cold. 

She closed her eyes, gripping tightly onto his hand. “Thank you,”� she whispered. “Thank you.”�


End file.
